Monday, December 28, 2015

My Vocal Journey

Recording this album was a Shamanic Initiation into deeper connection, understanding and empowerment with my Voice.

I have been singing for about 9 years pretty consistently, cultivating my vocal channel.

When I started, it was pretty bad.
People still said they liked it, but I knew, there was much work to do.

You see, I have such a a wide range in my vocal register that when I was a child I would talk very very low, and then sometimes really high.

My parents and teachers thought I had a speech impediment, and sent me to speech therapy to normalize my voice. This scarred me, and their fuss around the strangeness of my voice stuck with me and muted me a lot, keeping me from feeling confident singing or speaking.

It has been a loaded lifetime process with me and my voice. It took blossoming into adulthood for me to even consider that I could sing and not offend people. So the fact that I am now a budding professional musician and singer is amazing.

I worked on this A LOT in my life. And now, 9 years later and I have found a wide variety of sound possibilities with my voice and have learned my vocal instrument as a self-taught singer and sound healer. I realize now that actually the "strangeness" of my voice was a huge gift! Because I have a HUGE RANGE from very low to incredibly high, and this is profoundly useful as a singer and sound healer!

After years of cultivating my craft, practicing, performing and creating many songs, I was almost completely happy with my vocal sound, and felt it was finally time to record.

However  (dun dun dun......) Once I started the recording process 3 months ago, MY VOICE disappeared!

Not really, I mean, it was still there, but my mastery and potency of my vocal channel was gone. It was like years of work on my craft were erased, and all that was left was a squeaky, weak voice that missed a lot of notes and sang slightly off key.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!??!?!

Was my first response.

But then over time I recognized, that this was the gift.
This was the process.
To say fuck it and do it any way.
To push through this seaming obstacle to learn, grow and evolve.
I kept going.

When I recorded the first vocals of this album, I had a full on Shamanic Journey experience. My voice was completely clamped down, not cooperative at all. So I sat with it. I felt into it. I breathed into it. I moved into it. I prayed about it.

What came was a profound energetic experience of release and opening. This was accompanied by multiple past life memories flashing through my vision and my system in an embodied way where I was killed by throat. I was held from behind by a Beloved and sliced across the throat, I was killed by guillotine, hung, strangled, drowned and more for being a Magical Woman.

This is the Witches Wound.

I have accessed past life memories like this before, but this was truly a unique experience. By recording this album and being open to it as a multi-dimensional experience, I was transforming lifetimes of karma around speaking my truth, embodying my potency and Claiming myself as a Priestess, Healer, Channel and Guide.

It used to be very unsafe and life threatening to do what I do. But now, in this lifetime, it is safe, and it is time.

There are powerful messages and vibrations that are aligning to come through me, and now that I went through that portal, I am so much more prepared to receive and deliver them.

So you see, this music is not just music to me. This is my soul healing lifetimes of pain and claiming my power and my right to be my fullest expression.

With that big chunk integrated, the process got a little easier, but I still couldn't access my full vocal potency. When it came time to record the final vocals, I was still battling myself in this way.

I did it any way, I found a way, and although the final product I feel is not a full representation of my vocal potency and potential, it is good enough. It is pretty good. It is actually very good. And I know it can be better.

I know it can be better because it already is better.

Now on the other side of this Album Release, with two successful release parties (One in Berkeley, One in San Diego) under my belt, I truly transmuted and transformed all of that process and healing.

I now have SUCH fuller access to my vocal channel and potency, confidence, consistency and range. Radically so. And not only that, but a much deeper understanding of my vocal capacity, what my voice and music is For, and how to use my voice and dedicate my life and music to the healing, awakening, empowerment and upliftment of humanity.


I love you so much. Thank you for witnessing my process.
Please consider supporting my current and future musical creations by contributing with an Album Download!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Patience, Trust, Acceptance, Vision

How can we live in reverence and alignment and still allow our messy humanness? How can we strive to evolve and be fully conscious and still be in acceptance of our animal, our fumblings, our unconsciousness?

How can we create and share from where we are now with no shame, letting go of perfectionism, and allow ourselves to continue to grow towards our potential?

I want to be different, but in order to be different I must be okay with what is now. 

Is a seated meditation more holy than a flop on the ground?

Is it ok that I have a different kind of sound? 

My voice isn't fully polished and sometimes I'll miss a note, but if you listen closely you will hear the sounds beyond my throat. The ancient wild call within, the perfect center, the untamed chaos, the ever spiraling nature. 
Cycling and recycling. 
All time at the same time, 
yet back and forth we wind, 
and sideways some times, 
through this dance of human and divine.

Of empowerment and disempowerment. 
Success and failure. 
Joy and depression. 
Bliss and devastation. 
Pleasure and pain.
Through learning and knowing and understanding, then deconstructing and unknowing everything. Only to begin again by discovering the same truth you knew before, yet richer this time, deeper. And on and on we go, spiraling through reality in our non linear way, literally a planet spiraling within spirals and spirals, of systems and galaxies, all moving, 
and not in a straight line.

Our world and our consciousness too, spiraling, spiraling.

Tracking and back tracking, launching forward, moving back and reintegrating, becoming unconscious again, dying to yourself, rebirthing and waking up even brighter, over and over we cycle.

As the stars and planets do,
And the forests, too. 

Nature moves as a Patient Spiral. 

Patience. We must have patience.
It goes so deep, on so many levels.

On Patience in Visions...

Many of us have received visions of the future we are to cocreate. And many of us, myself included, got that information a looooong time ago, before it even made sense. And back then many felt a sense of urgency, yet this is all not something that can be forced. 

Now all these visions I received long ago are starting to make more sense as I see those visions becoming real before my eyes. 

But slowly, slowly gently in the right time. 
Not much effort on the part of mine. 
Just doing my part and cultivating myself so I can show up as fully as possible as often as I can. 
But the point is the patience. 
Patience with the spiral. 
Patience with the self. 
Patience with the process. 
Patience with the unfolding of those huge visions we see can come true. For our communities, for the planet, and for ourselves. 
And trust. 
Trust that they will, and we will show up in the perfect moments to play our roles. Patience and trust. 
Acceptance of what is and willingness to grow.
Allowing for the natural oscillations.
Seeing time as a non linear spiraling reality
trusting the patterns in chaos
And letting the Visions be Born. 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The Eve of My Album Release

Reflections on the Eve of My First Album Release
My Vocal Journey, Process and Intentions

Recording this album has been an
vulnerable and
revealing process.

I went through a 
full cycle Shamanic journey in the
3 month Creation.

When I started recording
my voice disappeared.
I lost access to my 
authentic vocal channel.

It clamped up,
Shut down.

I could still sort of sing
but it wasn't my full potential.
It was frustrating. 

I discovered so much
ancient fear
and also
fear of judgement
wanting to give up singing all together
questioning my worth and ability as a musician and performer...

So much energy processing happened in my body,
Especially in my Throat.

But that whole thing...
The inner torment and collapse...
Multi-Dimensional and Multi-Life and Multi-Time Healing....
Crazy Amazing Stuff!

It was an emotional ride.

It was also incredibly empowering.

I kept moving forward anyway.
I welcomed the range of experience.
I embodied determination and focus.
I accomplished my goal. 

I learned basic electronic music production in 3 months, through actively learning as I went and ended up producing 3 whole tracks! Many were cut along the way, and one right at the final deadline. It just wasn't ready yet. 

Not only that, but I had an incredibly transformational process with my voice and my life!
Through the process of recording, performing, plus a lot of prayer, ceremony, ritual and self-work, I was able to integrate and transmute what has been getting in the way of sharing my truth and my voice and fully embodying both in alignment with my purpose. I now have such a deeper range of access, consistency and potency in my voice, and a deeper understanding of what it can do and what is wanting to be accessed and shared through me.


I am still sinking into this new place of deeper alignment, integrity, clarity and confidence.

I am so grateful to be this version of me now and to feel all that I have the potential to become and am becoming.

Whatever comes of these recordings, I am not attached to. The process alone has been an incredible journey and gift.

That said, my hope, desire and intention is for these songs to reach all those that will be impacted positively by them. May they deliver the medicine of spaciousness, acceptance, the reality of magic, deeper presence and empowerment to all that listen. 

And I pray that my path as a musician, facilitator, event producer, channel, healer, muse, ritualist and guide be abundantly supported in the most graceful, blissful and easeful way in alignment with the highest good for all beings and all of creation. Aho.

Today marks the last day these songs will be private. Tomorrow I release them to the world. It feels significant and potent. May this day and my release ceremony tonight fully invoke the path of miracles and guide and assist me to share my music and my gifts with as many people possible, and that I be fully supported in that.

And so it is.

In love and awe,
Flow Ananda

Download my Album Here!    :0) 

Monday, December 21, 2015

Patient Spiral Reflections

Patient Spiral Album Release
Reflections from Flow Ananda

Photo: La Bruha Hermosa Productions

I am impatient by nature.
I want it all Now.
I am impulsive.

I am learning to be more Patient.
To slow down
and allow the pacing of nature
to guide my way.

Producing my first music album these last few months was a lot of learning in Patience. Everything took longer than I wanted.

The first track on my album is called Patient Spiral.
The irony of that is not lost on me.

I write songs to remember
the deeper truths I uncover.

Now I have the opportunity
to share them with more people.

It is both exhilarating and terrifying.

I write songs to remember
the deeper truths I uncover.

These songs are my deeper truths.

This is incredibly vulnerable.

And my voice.... Oh my voice. The deep journey with my voice, in my life and in this process.
It is so vulnerable to record it. To share it.

I'm not completely happy with the way these tracks turned out. In fact I'm  unhappy with them, to be honest. They could be better. But a wise man named Samson told me that he has NEVER been happy with the mixes of his songs, even after 10 years of recording! So if I want to keep going with this path, I'll have to surrender to that.

Over the next few days and months I will be writing about my experience in creating and recording these songs, my journey with music, my journey of Awakening, of Magic and Miracles, of Depression, of Elation, of Serendipity, of Faith. Of creativity and self-doubt and self-judgement and self-empowerment. Of surrendering to the Truth of my Purpose and allowing Passion and Service to guide me. And so much more.

I feel compelled to share more deeply about where I am coming from in my creations. My bigger WHY behind sharing my music, my artistry, my heart. Why I feel compelled along this path, and what deeper intentions are holding and guiding my actions.

If you are interested, please follow me and come along for this journey.

*****I will be releasing the music on the morning of December 24th, as an offering to the Awakening of the Christ Consciousness within all of us.*****

Peace and Love to you,